catch of a lifetime

Baggins bought a Chumbawumba album from the thrift store, and I bought his stolen bike off a guy we saw on the street. We are happy!

I might just stick 13,000 of my 14,500 dollars in either a CD or other interest making bank account because both the bank and my dad think its a good idea. Whatever. 1000 dollar paychecks + tips will hold me over in the mean time.
I'm going to sell a bike or three, and do more modeling gigs. I want to sell my car because I'm terrified of it, but that's not really an option. I wish this whole insurance settlement was over already. It's JAMAICA TIIIIME

I'm planning on going to New York on my travels to check out this community that is totally neat and makes their own wine by fermenting juice that they find in a juice dumpster. Hilarious. A friend lives there and mentioned that a room mate got arrested for welding a giant sword on the street. Just because it was giant. And a sword.

 

I was driving my moms car down Berry street yesterday evening. Then a car smashed into me. T bone style, ran me off the road and onto a sidewalk. Less than a foot away from a pole. Airbags saved my life, really. If I was in the party Jeep, I'd more than likely be dead. TCU guys pulled me out of the car after they pulled and tugged on the door for a while. I'm pretty over driving now, officially. My parents are probably going to sue this lady that hit me. I dont know exactly why other than the fact that the lady was pretty rude to my mom and me, never asked if I was okay ONCE!,and hit me with a car going about 75mph. I will use that money to go to Jamaica. I cried earlier in the car, because I was freaked out. I hope this doesnt last long.

I'm sitting on 13,000 something dollars for traveling now. Trying to hold out til at least November.
I miss my bestfriend, my energy, my time, and my body not being an ache machine.

THINGS I'D LIKE TO DO:
1. Go to Disneyland/world and go bat shit insane on some rides.
2. Six Flags. Same thing.
3. Go to Dollywood and be totally amazed over how much I love Dolly Parton.
4. Check out all the stupid/weird museums I come across.
5. Pudding OR mud wrestle in a kiddie pool with some cool ladies.
6. Swim in every ocean. Or at least get my feets wet.
7. Get rid of this crazy tan line action I have on MY CHEST??
8. Do some insane bike riding. Everywhere. All the time.
9. Hang glide and/or skydive.
10. Pole dance.
11. Climb some trees and read some magazines up there.
12. Ride a white tiger in Vegas.
13. Dumpster in every state I visit.
14. Be a karaoke champion.
15. Wake up at 6am for a bike ride and juice, then go back to sleep.
16. Mail one million packages and take one million pictures. REALLY.
17. Water gun fights
18. Eat some pizza with some good people.
19. Sleep outside and it NOT SUCK BECAUSE OF STUPID MOSQUITOS.
20. Make tater tot burritos for some good people!
21. Make my apartment liveable. Again.
22. Hop on a Greyhound and bask in the glory of all those other fucks on the bus.
23. Quit my job?
24. Get lost in different time zones / area codes / whatevers.
25. Punch a cop in the face.
26. Figure out the best way to pack this backpack full of the essentials.
27. Go to a pony farm and run free with the ponies, and whisper "I love you" to each and every one of them.

ULTRA VEEG (vegan, duh) CHICKEN WANGS:
1 tsp salt
1/2 tsp onion powder
1 tsp pepper
1 tsp garlic powder
2 cups unbleached white flour
4 tbsp nutritional yeast (optional)
3 tbsp yellow mustard
1/2 cup water
2 tbsp baking powder
1 lb of seitan
3 1/2 cups vegetable oil
 

mix together the salt, onion powder, pepper, garlic powder, flour, and nutritional yeast. in a separate bowl, dilute the mustard with water. add 1/3 cup of the flour mixture to the mustard mixture and stir. add the baking powder to the dry flour mixture and mix.

dip chunks of the seitan into the mustard batter, then drop each chunk into the flour mixture and coat with the desired amount of 'crust'. fry the chunks in the hot oil on medium-high heat in a large skillet until crispy and golden brown, turning as needed.

WHOOP, THERE IT IS.

So yeah, I like the new apartment.
I come home from work and Rachel is playing the piano and singing opera in the apartment next to mine. Flyer is upstairs listening to the same Basement Jaxx song over and over. The maitenence man is upstairs caddy corner apartment listening to Latin jams and sawing / hammering. 2am rolls around and theres a dance party upstairs because the bar has just closed. Drunk kids wake me up a little bit, but I'm too tired to care, so I fall back asleep. I wake up at 4am to Baggins crawling into bed, but now I'm pissed because being tired at work isn't something that I'm okay with anymore. I wake up at 6 something to the sound of my alarm telling me its time to start all over again.

Life and whatever. I work 50 - 55 hours a week, do our laundry, try to get out of being tired to rage on a bike, wish for more energy, watch my dogs bite each other, and wait for the day where I can wake up early and just watch the clouds roll by. The initial plan of 10,000 dollars has come and gone. Currently, I'm sitting at 10,394. With another paycheck on Wednesday that I won't cash, and hopefully a sliver of the deposit left on the 1316 house. Anything more than 200 something dollars, I would have made a profit.

Trae leaves next week and I'm not as torn up about it as I was, since we haven't really hung out in a minute. His fixed Redline will be living at my apartment, so he has to come back...eventually.

My dad is thinking about leaving FOX, and TV all together. This makes me feel really kind of odd, since that's where he's been since before I was born. He was one of the few people I knew with a career that they actually enjoyed. He's very hell bent on seeing me open, own, and operate a restaurant of sorts (something besides a taco truck, probably) so he said that is a possibility after if/when he quits. Either way, I'm taking a vacation before I even think about getting suckered back into another food industry job.

Don't get me wrong. I love food. I love cooking. I do not love shoving mayo and butter down peoples throats. I do not like people that bark their orders at me or throw down their money / credit cards rather than handing it to me. Yes, I understand that this is the service industry. I understand that I'm serving some people that have never waited a table in their life, or anything along those lines. It's just silly that these people think that treating others like complete shit is totally justified when they lay down their 3 dollar tip on a 40 dollar bill. When you threaten to call the "managers husband" I say, go ahead. I am the manager, and I'm not married yet, so who are you talking about? I don't care who you think you know, just stop talking. I don't care that you drove 30 minutes to eat a piece of pie that you "make at home." I really just dont give a shit.

I'm getting my ribs worked on for about 4 hours this Sunday. Scary rib pain, yet again. Too bad I can't swim this summer. I would have totally gotten a Corona bikini. Lounging in style, you know?

Quick tentative list for future reference for December 2009 - May 2010
Somewhere in here my mom is wanting to go to Puerto Rico and Jamaica. FREE TRIPS FOR TORIO.  And maybe meeting up with Kyle if he's out and about and not in Austrailia. Shit.

Fort Worth -> Austin (I love ya'll)
Austin -> North Carolina (if Steve is there and not sailing)
North Carolina -> Philly!! (<3)
Philly!! -> Portland, Maine
Portland, Maine -> Providence
Providence -> Boston
Boston -> New York?
New York? -> Montreal!!
CANADA PARTY FOR WHO KNOWS HOW LONG.
Somewhere in Canada -> Minneapolis
Minneapolis -> Chicago
Chicago -> Denver
Denver -> Phoenix (ha)
Phoenix -> Vegas (going to ride a white tiger!)
Vegas -> Portland, Oregon
Portland, Oregon -> Seattle/Olympia (sex workers union)
WEST COAST PARTY FOR WHO KNOWS HOW LONG MEANING PORTLAND, SEATTLE, SAN FRANCISCO, PROBS.
Somewhere in the Pacific NW -> DFW to watch Baggins graduate.
DFW -> MEXICO. MY HOME TEAM. WHERE WE THEN GET MARRIED AND CLIMB A PYRIMID AND LOOK AT PARROTS AND SWIM AND STUFF.

Yesterday was  the Historical Homes Whatever The FUCK in the Fairmount , so everyone was stopping at my patio to look at my dogs. My patio doors were open so I heard everything they were saying and they're dumb baby voices. Worst ever. I mean, my dogs straight up rule, but come on.

Christ, I'm nerding out looking at wedding dresses. Oh no.

My dad might retire and not work for channel 4 anymore after...over 20 years. Weird. BUT THEN WE WILL PARTY.

So being raw was pretty tight, The only cooked food I'm really eating now is rice. Fucking rice. No nutritional value rice. And few tortillas. Damnit. I'm trying to eat as raw as possible because it's delicious and feels better than eating processed food all the time. I DONT EVEN KNOW WHEN THE LAST TIME I HAD BREAD WAS. OMG. I lost a handful of pounds. That's pretty cool

So my best friend is moving to New Mexico for the summer and then Colorado for bike school. This makes me really happy for him, but I kind of hate life. Trae is the number one dude in my life (besides Baggins, who is very obviously the number one dude in my life) so it kinda makes me cry everytime I think about him leaving. Wah.

This summer is:
30 + hours of TATTOOING ON MY SKINNN (98 percent for free!).
Roller coaster action at Six Flags because what better way to get over your best friend leaving than roller coaster parties!?
Moving into my cute new apartment below my not so cute ex room mate who sells drugs and wears a dangly casper the ghost earring.
Hating my job more probably.
Bustin out another 10 -15 pounds weight loss. Maybe. I don't know how I'll look at 135 - 140 pounds. I might look sick.
Applying for another job in Chicago. Which is kinda retarded, but I really like the company.
Going to Austin for raw foods, hang outs, tattoos, and party time.
Some photoshoots for bling.
Hanging out with Rick EVERYDAY BECAUSE IM 16 AGAIN.
Training very stupid and hard on my bike alone because I'm going to be the fastest motherfucker ever. Again.
Some books, cookies, pillow making, embrodery, planting, puppy clothes making, drink mixing, and stuff.

I don't care what anyone says, the collection of soap I have right now smells delicious. Thanks, philosophy.
 

What I've been eating on a Raw Diet:
Avocados, grapefruits, mangos, raw avocado dressing, rasins, carrots, radishes, lettuce, guacamole, raw almond milk, kombucha, honey dew melon, blackberries, blueberrys, raspberries, strawberries, grapes, pineapples, cherry tomatoes, oranges, kiwi, cantalope, watermelon, broccoli, cauliflour, cucumbers, walnuts, almonds, tomatoes, basil,  dehydrated strawberries, dehydrated bananas, dehydrated tomatoes, Hail Merry's blonde macaroons, 2Momsintheraw crackers (italian),  3 other kinds of raw crackers (italian, east indian, mexican), Coconut Bliss raw ice cream (coconut, chocolate hazlenut), raw chocolate truffles made by Kelly, raw vegan nacho cheeze, raw crackers made by Kelly, raw Brazil nut cheese made by Kelly, raw chocolate torte, raw key lime pie.

I think thats probably it.
I'm on day 19 out of 40 right now.
I've lost about 8 pounds all while stuffing my fucking face and craving Indian food.

The Whole Womens Festival and Vagina Monologues is this Saturday and I'm so happy it's going to be over.
I'm going to be making some orgasm noises during the monologues, so if you ever wanted to hear me orgasm like a "militant bi sexual" or an Irish Catholic, let me know.


 

i hate that dumb dog
it barks so fucking much dude
give me a gun please

little dog with clothes
you are going to die soon
write your puppy will

i just want to sleep
you are making that so hard
i hope you choke soon

internal battle
is it vegan to kill dogs
i might just break veg

TIGHT.
 

after laying in bed since saturday ive had a few thoughts

- im way more self destructive than i ever thought i was. you wont even recognize! me when im done.

- i should have gone into that medical program when i had the chance.

- i kinda want to go back to arizona.

- im not working thursday so im going to try to clear out this room. and my car.

- i dont care what anyone says, im going to cut my hair off.

- popping pills is okay i guess if it makes me tolerable during work hours.

- the people who play neuteral hardly ever are. but thanks for playing.

- id rather be engaged forever than become an annoying bride.
 - but if i get to that point, my wedding dress is going to be black. eat me.

- im ready to just suck it up and learn how to play the guitar. baggins you can hold this against me. except when im already laying in bed and ready to sleep.

- house is my favorite show.

- getting START TODAY tattooed on my arm is a good idea. it was a good idea months ago, its a good idea now. its a good idea, but not in my best interest to get my face and neck tattooed right now.

- i finally know what someone said when they meant that it isnt, you know, romantic when someone just takes off their clothes and then expects results (im not talking about baggins).

- there is always a way out, its just a matter of finding it and tweaking it so you dont look like a big jerk for stepping out of a situation.

- but on the other hand, ive looked like a big jerk for way less, so whatever.

- i should climb some ladders and put on some rollerskates. two things that fucking freak me out. but oh well.

- i now know where to get breast implants in fort worth, texas

- taco trux are definately the way to go business wise. 60,000 vs 40million? im totally there.
 
theres other stuff but i have to go to work and waste my time.

 

NOT going to sxsw this year, but possibly driving some kids from philly to it.
shows at my house that week, maybe yeah? its an idea. lets get rollin.
also lindsey dees birthday is that week. party on.

art space will be open by then, so HEY IF YOU DO ART YOU SHOULD SET UP A SHOW WITH ME AT MY STUDIO IN THE MAKIN.
charging at the door, you get half/rent gets half. sell your stuff, or not. whatever.
drink some wine and lets get social with it. kinda like gettin jiggy with it.
 
hey so like, if you know me, you know my love for my real live boyfriend - jason voorhees.
his new movie comes out feb 13 09.
youre either with me or against me. come see that movie with me even tho it'll probz be bad. i have to support my main squeeze.
even if baggins wont let me buy 8 different friday the 13th posters and put them all over the place.

houston, texas later on this month to deliver a giant box of ramen and hang out with stewart a.


i want to play monopoly again.

 

Dear Blog,

Today A didnt tell me anything.

This particular post is dedicated to my live journal friend / RLRM (real life room mate), Anthony Davis. Because he's sitting next to me. Fixing the internet.

---------------------------------

That was written and saved the day I got food poisoning from eating breadstix that weren't cooked all the way. Ugh.

So it's the eve of Christmas and I'm going to Meat Town Texas de Brazil with Baggins and his family.
MEAT ON SKEWERS!
MEAT ON THE WALLS, IN MY FACE, IN THE AIR!

Maybe I’m just a nerd, but has anyone else gotten a new friend that you get really excited about because you know that they’re way cool and you can talk to them about stupid stuff and then other stuff that’s socially relevant? It’s good to have a support system going that goes both ways, not just one. And I have that now with someone that doesn’t identify as male and that rules hard. I’ve missed having a friend that’s a lady (that I see on a regular basis) that is down for whatever and can talk about queer/womens studies. Thanks, Lindsey.

---------------------------------

I've officially been engaged for a year and still havent fucked anything up. I know that some people really get all into the idea of weddings and whatever, but to me theyre pretty terrifying. Soo...whatever, we're great. Now it's the day after Christmas and I just worked a whole lot. I got a juicer, a bike saddle, a lomo camera, a lomo flash for any camera, other stuff, and who cares because I totally got a juicer.

Also, in 2 weeks you can expect me to have that ding dang dumb Google phone. I can't help myself.

Dance party!! January 3rd. Anthony is going to play some music....(right?) and there will be beer. Bring some money for the keg part. Or something. All $$ is going to something awesome I swear.

Dear Internet,

It has just dawned on me that I live with 3 very attractive and tall men.

Just sayin.
 

Books on their way to me for research for essays and future workshops:
1. Getting Off: A Woman's Guide to Masturbation [Paperback] by Waxman, Jamye
2. Working Sex: Sex Workers Write About a Changing Industry [Paperback] by Oakley
3.Turning Pro: A Guide to Sex Work for the Ambitious and the Intrigued
4.Whores and Other Feminists
5.The Whole Lesbian Sex Book: A Passionate Guide for All of Us
6.Lesbian Couples: A Guide to Creating Healthy Relationships
7.The Whole Lesbian Sex Book: A Passionate Guide for All of Us

Also, I got The Ethical Slut and Cunt for really really really cheap at half price.
If you haven't read Cunt, you probably should. Really. I have an extra copy, let me know if you want it.

Lame = given 40 days worth of antibiotics.
FAIL.

Philly next weekend!
Austin this weekend!